No. 36 – Geocache

Winners!

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary has yet to define the term “Geocache.” So, if this sounds like a made-up word to you, that’s because it is until Miss Merriam and Mr. Webster decide otherwise. (There are schools of thought on who essentially decides what a word means, but that’s a topic for people smarter than me.) So, let us turn to the next most reliable source to explain this term: urbandictionary.com.

Geocache: “using multi billion dollar military defense satellites to find tupperware in the woods”

Well said, random online user! While this is a cheeky answer to our question, it is (essentially) true. All you need to have to geocache is a GPS and it will lead you to the treasure you seek! Pointless? Only if you hate fun.

While I was in Florida, my team had a meeting out by a lake because our boss was out of town. This turned into a bit of spontaneous geocaching. To be honest, I don’t remember what was in the plastic bag. I do remember the feeling of sweet victory.

No. 56 – Get a Kitty!

I hate dogs. I can’t deny it anymore. I’m a hater. And haters gonna hate.

When I get home, I don’t want a slobbery mutt jumping on me, demanding attention and probably needing to be taken for a walk. No, I want a soft, furry ball of cute to sedately rub against my legs and walk away to its litter box. I don’t need the constant risk of “will it lick me?” I need the constant mystery of “will it let me pet it?” No barks. All meows. All of this to say – I LOVE kitties!

While I was in Florida, I took the leap and got a cat. She turned out to be the best cat in the whole world! And the best cat in the whole world deserves the best name in the whole world. Behold! Fanny Price.

No. 6 – Run a 5K

I first heard about the Warrior Dash last year when a few friends ran it. They came back very dirty. When they described the feats they conquered to get to the end of the 5K run, I decided that the Warrior Dash was probably something I’d never participate in.

Never say never. 🙂

I leap over fire with defiance!

Warrior Dash Pwn'd!

There was a lot more climbing over extremely large objects than I would have liked, but I did every obstacle! BAM! I will also be running another 5K next month. I should probably go for a run sometime before then…

No. 37 – Reach 250 followers on Twitter

BAM!

I have a blog. Surprise! If you’re not surprised, I surely am. I had completely forgotten about the existence of The Teacup List because now I’m all adult-ified. I pay bills and give teenagers rides home and say things like, “A little less noise, there! A little less noise!” But, today I completed at item on my list without even trying and the fire is back in my belly! It’s time to play catch-up with my list.

But FIRST! Let’s celebrate my glorious achievement in the world of social media. I. Have. a LOT. of followers…

…for just a girl. If I were a girl and athletic, or a girl and famous, 250 followers would be pathetic. For all the normal, unathletic chicks our there 250 kicks butt. I’m happy to represent.

How did I do it, you ask? Are you frustrated because you have a fraction of followers and work twice as hard as I do to gain them? No worries. It has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with uprooting yourself as many times as possible. I have lived in 3 separate states in the last four years. I better have more followers than you or I’m just not friendly enough. The more people you meet, the more likely it is you’ll have an obscene amount of followers.

And why do I need to have ever so many followers? The same reason you do. Because we both like attention.

Thanks to the tweeter who put me over the edge, @handmadekate! You make dreams come true.

No. 22.1 – Fold 25 Different Origami Designs

This item on my list reveals a part of my character I have never quite gotten a grip on: over-zealousness. Twenty-five is a big number for anything. Just consider the following:

Twenty-five twinkies.

Twenty-five episodes of 24.

Twenty-five hits from Justin Bieber.

They just don’t really work, do they? Twenty-five of anything is me trying to show off.

Even with the help of Rachel and Katie (who surprised me with her presence – best surprise ever!), we couldn’t get to twenty-five between the three of us. We maybe hit twenty-one. Maybe.

My desperation was severe enough that I was planning on counting their origami creations towards my goal of twenty-five. I had this great blog post in my head about how accomplishing items on a teacup list with other people is part of the glory of having a list at all! It nurtures relationship. It brings about an attitude of helpfulness, both of offering and accepting. It fosters conversation and friendship! Why shouldn’t I accept their help?! Because that’s not what the list says. I said I wanted to make “25 different designs.” Unreasonable, Ellebell. Unreasonable. But, as you make your bed, so you must lie upon it.

And so, I offer the first seven creations of my twenty-five.

Beating Heart - Thump Thump

A Box (oooOoOoOoo???)

A tulip, we think.

Ninja Star - the most difficult design. Tricky Ninjas.

A Crane. Whatever that is.

Butterfly - Close one eye and squint the other. See it?

A Rocket Ship - Vroom!!!

More will trickle in periodically. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments and I’ll be sure to share my attempts!

PS – Here’s a photo Rachel snapped of Katie trying to understand what the guy on YouTube was doing. She had trouble with the way the camera was positioned.

Katie has spacial dyslexia. (Which is apparently a real thing, as Google just told me. So, no...Katie does not have Spacial Dyslexia.)

PSS – Thanks to Mrs. Scheid for preparing and providing sustenance on our origami journey that night. That fish was de-lish.

No. 40 – Buy a Lottery Ticket and Probably Lose

Once upon a time, in a land 47 miles west of home, I gambled. I’m not talking about playing poker with friends for loose change, but real gambling. Tommy and I pooled our money together (all $10) and walked into the Blue Chip Casino. We were going to lose every penny and enjoy every minute.

Tommy and I maneuvered two chairs in front of a classic-looking slot machine. We would have none of that silly button pushing! This was a casino, dang it! We were going to pull some levers! I laughed inwardly as I noticed a row of my elders, each sitting between multiple machines playing them simultaneously. How strange my friend and I must have looked huddled around only one.

Did you know that drowsiness is a side effect of slot machines? That’s because they’re boring. We kept pulling that stupid lever, and we kept losing money, and we kept losing interest.

$2.37 was all we had left of the ten we started out with. In an act of desperation to be done, I placed my finger over the highest bet and glanced at Tommy for his permission. With one last pull of the lever, we waiting for the money to tick down to zero…but it didn’t. Oh no, dear reader, it did the opposite. In a glorious display of lights and noise, it climbed! It rose to $9, and Tommy squealed with delight. It went higher, and Tommy jumped up with excitement. It rose higher still, and Tommy let out his victory cry! An old lady scowled from her fortress of machines. I laughed and danced a jig.

Tommy and I took our winnings (thirty-seven dollars to be exact) and bought dinner.

I tell you this story because it’s far more interesting than the one where I bought a lottery ticket (and lost).

“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” Kin Hubbard

SoS – Spoonful of Sugar

Blisters. Runny noses. Sore arms. These are symptoms of leaf-raking.

Yet, we do it every year. I’m not exactly sure why it’s so important, but I think it has to do with the grass being dead in the spring. It all sounds like a ploy to get me to do outside work, but whatever – I like helping my dad. So, this morning I donned a new pair of work gloves (which smelled oddly of vinegar) and started raking.

As we attacked the leaves that had attacked our yard, I noticed our next door neighbors were on the same mission. It took about a second for a little voice in my heart to whisper, “Help them when you’re done.” It took only a tenth of another second for a bigger voice in my head to retort, “Take a nap instead.”

My dad and I finished our yard in an impressive display of sheer will to be done and inside our warm house. Besides, Taco Bell was on its way via mom. I hung my rake on the wall and turned to walk inside. Then I had an epiphany.

I knew that if I went inside without offering my help, I would regret it. I would regret it as I ate my pintos and cheese. I would regret it later when I took a warm shower. I would regret it as I fell asleep tonight. This was a typical example of why I need a Teacup List at all – for all the moments I miss.

My neighbor and his wife looked up, clearly out of breath and cold, as I offered an extra pair of hands with a smile. There was no fight in their answers of, “Yes, please!” We completed their yard in a matter of minutes, swapped names, and briefly discussed tidbits about our lives. I have lived in this house for two and a half years, and this was our first encounter.

Instead of having another item to put on a future teacup list, I recognized the opportunity when it came and can actually say, “I’m glad I did that.” It wasn’t on my list – it doesn’t have a number – but it belongs there. Why have a teacup list if it doesn’t teach me to recognize the potential of a worthy desire? It is added sweetness to the process, kind of like a spoonful of sugar.

PS – I think I’m still going to take that nap…

No. 51 – Write a Letter to my Grandchildren

Dear…You,

It’s Grandma! If you could see me now as I write that, you would giggle as I just did. The image you probably have of me involves blue hair and the smell of Listerine. One arm holds a cat, the other a slice of pie. My panty hose has more runs than Christina Aguilera and my jewelry gets bigger with each passing year. I intend to be a legitimately awesome old lady, complete with all the comforting stereotypes. I won’t let you down.

For now, however, I am twenty-four and invincible, just like you feel right now. Things like arthritis and indigestion are as real to me as unicorns. Let’s both agree to enjoy whatever good health we have at this point (of me writing and you reading), and maybe even hit the treadmill a couple times a week. I’m not giving up coffee, though.

So, what’s it like in the future? I bet we still don’t have flying cars, but at least you don’t have Jersey Shore. If Wikipedia’s still around, look it up. On second thought, just let it go. It’s not worth your time. In the past, we struggle with something called “reality television.” It’s kind of an oxymoron, but we let it slide since it’s so mesmerizing. Even I can’t resist the awful power of The Bachelor. Our culture also has a sick fetish with crime shows. Law & Order: SVU or CI, NCIS, CSI…we love our acronyms. I dream of better programming for you. I dream of better programming for me!

Here comes the part of my letter where I give you advice. I may only be twenty-four (quite possibly younger than you are now), but now I’m 90 or something so you have to listen to me. I’ll always have been alive longer than you, even now in this time-fold I’ve created with this letter.

Something I Wish I Had Done:

Read To Kill a Mockingbird. It’s my mom’s favorite book and I supposedly read it in high school. (Great movie.) I feel like I owe it to my mom and Mrs. Billman to really read it. I won’t because I’m too busy reading Twilight.

Something I Wish I Had Not Done:

Chopped all of my hair off. Twice. Once was understandable, especially at the age of thirteen. Twice was just stupid. As our good President George W. Bush so eloquently said, “Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me, can’t get fooled again.”

Lies People Tell:

1. The Five-Second Rule – This is just silly. Do people really think germs are lazy? Like when an M&M falls on the ground, the germ just rolls over in its bed of grime and says, “Just five more seconds…” No. No, they do not.

2. “When you grow up, you’ll have boys/girls lined up around the corner.” I’m sorry to break it to you, but there is no corner. Dating is a straight line to confusion. Try to have fun, but don’t expect the glorious myriad of fawning admirers promised by your elders who mean well. When they say it, just smile and nod appreciatively. After all, it is a nice thought.

The Most Important Thing I Know:

Jesus is the best thing that ever happened. All the things he is fulfills desires I didn’t even know I had. And his LOVE, we’re talking the kind of love everyone’s trying to find, his LOVE fills life up full. You’ll forgive people who screwed you over, talk to cashiers and telemarketers like they’re good friends, visit untouchables in a country thousands of miles away, and spend hundreds of hours discovering the wonderful way you were wired to serve others – all because of one person. All because God is exactly that – GOD. “The Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe.” He’s the ultimate everything! He’s the most important thing I know.

That’s about the extent of my wisdom at this point. I love you. I’m praying for you already, and as my pastor says at the end of every service, “Be good to each other on your way out.”

No. 64 – Create a Teacup List

If you’re wondering what a Teacup List is, you can read my description here. If you’re wondering what a Teacup List looks like, you can read mine here. If you want to have your own Teacup List, you’ll have to write it yourself. There is no “here” for that (unless you steal mine, which is totally allowed.)

It’s funny that this should fall so far down on my list. I have one word for you: procrastinator. Putting the completion of the list actually on the list was me putting my foot down. I knew that I could spend the next year “thinking” about my list instead of doing anything on it. Laura was the brain behind this one. I have really smart friends.

There are eight categories:

1. Pay It Forward – Items on my list that make other people happy.

2. Horizon Expanders – Items on my list that completely disregard my comfort zone.

3. Scholarliness – Items on my list that make me smarter than you.

4. Just for Funsies – ‘Nuff said.

5. Much Obliged – Items on my list that exercise my gratitude muscle.

6. Artsty Fartsy – Items on my list that are artsy and maybe a little pretentious.

7. Think Again – Items on my list I am completely unqualified to do.

8. Randomness – I don’t know how to spell misce…miscala…miscel. Whatever. RANDOM.

In conclusion, this is the end of my post.

PS – I’ll work on my conclusions.